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Most leaders ask it quietly: when is it okay to be emotional at work? Ryan Watts thinks that’s the wrong question, because it asks someone else for permission.

In this solo episode, Ryan shares two moments from his own leadership. In the first, he named his frustration early and calmly, then held it through interruption after interruption until it came out as anger. The meeting ended, and he never went back to repair it. In the second, during a building lockdown, he held his fear so well that his team couldn’t read him at all. The tension in the room went up, not down.

Opposite results. Same root. In both, he was negotiating with what he felt instead of leading with it.

For leaders with ADHD, emotion often arrives fast and full, so the filter between feeling it and showing it has to work harder. Ryan calls that filter a second job. This episode is about putting it down.

In this episode

• Why emotion you hold doesn’t disappear, it builds
• The better question: is the emotion owned, or is it leaking?
• Three moves for owned emotion: name it early, own it as yours, return to the decision
• The one sentence that can steady a room in a crisis
• How to repair after it leaks, without lowering the standard

Chapters
00:13 The meeting that ended in anger
00:49 The question leaders ask quietly
02:49 The negotiation underneath the anger
04:30 Owned emotion stays the size it is
04:56 The lockdown: when a calm face makes it worse
05:40 Same root, and a better question
07:51 Own it, return to the decision, repair it
09:41 Three questions to sit with

Questions to sit with

Think of the last time emotion showed up for you at work. Was it owned, or did it leak?
What private rule do you follow about emotion in front of your team? Whose rule is it?
Is there a conversation you never went back to? What would it cost you to go back now?

Next step
If this episode landed, you’re likely carrying more than one negotiation like it. Emotion is just where it gets loud. The 12-question Internal Negotiation Assessment shows where it’s costing you most, and it takes a few minutes.

https://ryanwattscoaching.com/friction