#184 - Dan Shapiro on Chess, Confidence, and Kids Who Don't Fit the Mold

Not every kid finds their confidence on a field, a stage, or a court. Dan Shapiro's son found his across sixty-four squares.

Dan Shapiro has spent nearly three decades in the investment industry. When remote school arrived in 2020, he and his wife started noticing things in their younger son that were hard to watch. Distraction that would not lift. Not responding to his name. Walking in circles in his room. The family went looking for help and came back with a term Dan had never heard before: twice exceptional. Bright kids whose brains work differently, and who are very capable, but for whom it can be hard to get it all together.

What followed was not a rescue plan. It was after-school chess club.

In this conversation with Ryan, Dan explains why he wanted his son to have at least one thing he could be genuinely good at, the best in his immediate surroundings, and why chess turned out to be that thing. He walks through chess notation, the habit of writing down every decision you and your opponent make so you can review it afterward and improve, and he makes the case that if that were the only skill a kid took from the game, it would still be worth it.

Dan also did something most parents skip. He started taking chess lessons himself, once a week, so his son would not have to love something alone.

The conversation moves into blitz chess and pre-moving, where a player executes ten moves in a second because the outcome is already known, and Dan ties it to Sully Sullenberger landing in the Hudson in roughly the same span as a blitz game after a lifetime of preparation. It moves into a hard stretch at Nationals in Baltimore where his son lost two games in a row, knew the math had taken a medal off the table, went to bed early, and won the rest. It moves into a yo-yo, a three-week sleepaway camp, and a Foo Fighters cover sung in front of the whole camp after twenty hours of practice.

And then Ryan turns it toward work. If a father can misjudge his own son's best use, what are the rest of us doing with the people we lead? Dan's answer is one line long: do not be afraid to move the pieces around.

Dan's book, Decoding Genius: The Unexpected Lessons of After-School Chess Club, arrives in August 2026.

In this episode

00:00 Meet Dan Shapiro
01:24 What remote school revealed
02:16 What "twice exceptional" means
03:51 Wrestling with the label
07:27 Why sports and music were not the fit
07:50 One thing they can be the best at
10:56 Chess notation, or how to review your own decisions
14:37 Memory as the raw material of creativity
16:58 Writing the book he wished he had
18:52 Blitz chess, pre-moving, and Sullenberger
22:47 Losing two in a row at Nationals
25:12 Yo-yo, camp, and a Foo Fighters cover
33:35 Flow, meditation, and a pre-move checklist
36:20 Genius made, not born
50:36 The leadership translation
52:45 The paper airplane talent show
56:30 Chess as the third option
59:29 Where to find the book

About Dan Shapiro

Dan Shapiro has worked in the investment industry for nearly three decades and has served as a volunteer and board member for many nonprofit organizations. He is a musician, home cook, wine collector, and vintage guitar collector. He lives in Philadelphia with his wife and two sons. His book, Decoding Genius: The Unexpected Lessons of After-School Chess Club, draws on his son's experience in after-school chess club and on the history, players, and habits of mind that have made the game a training ground for fifteen hundred years. Early reviews have come from Kirkus Reviews and IndieReader.

Connect with Dan
Book and free parent companion: https://www.decodinggeniusbook.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/~dan-shapiro/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/decoding.genius/

Connect with Ryan Watts
Website: https://www.ryanwattscoaching.com
Podcast: https://www.ryanwattscoaching.com/thepersonalsuccesspodcast
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ryanwattsmba
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ryanwattslifecoaching

Have a story worth telling? Apply to be a guest on The Personal Success Podcast: https://www.ryanwattscoaching.com/podapp

If this conversation was useful, follow The Personal Success Podcast so the next one finds you.